Give Extra This Season- Making Sure My Father Isn't The Last To Know How Much He Really Means To Me

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Pop Told Me: Guess What?...... I love you!

Putting cursor on screen, to type, is often the very last thing I do when composing a post. Today it was the very first thing I wanted to do. I didn't need inspiration, recipes, or pretty photos to say what I wanted to say because this post is all about saying thank you to someone who has made it their mission to give extra my entire life. The awesome part is that I'm pretty sure they had no idea just how much all the little 'extra' things they've done throughout my life really meant. In fact, the ironic part, is that I feel quite guilty to only have recently realized this was the case. That someone who had made so many moments in my life so meaningful might not even know just how much that was true.

Momma Told Me is a blog all about my mother; at least in namesake and concept, there's a little bit of her in nearly every post. That's because my mother was disabled and home with me every day growing up; before and after school and on vacations. What you may not know, a running joke in my family (and still something Momma jests about to this day) is that I was, in her words, a 'contractual obligation' to my parents marriage. You all know Momma is awesome, and she loves me immensely, and the term may still sound like  bit of a shock. Take a breath, it's a simple way of stating, prior to marriage, my mother never envisioned herself having kids. My father is quite literally the reason I was born, you can say I truly do owe him my life.

This is important to note because it gives you, and me, some insight into the sort of father he was destined to be. He wanted children and I WAS his child. As a parent he took his job very seriously, but as a father he made the most of every moment. Now my Pop, as we have referred to him here in the past, is a fairly private person; and I generally leave his photos and information involving him off the blog as a method of respect for this. But it's hard to keep all those great childhood stories and memories to myself, so every now and then, they slip.

Just a month back we were visiting some family and somehow it came up that my father had read about himself on my blog. In one of my posts I had referenced a little game my father and I played for years with each other's lunches.

One day, when I was in grade school, my father decided to pick up a permanent marker and draw a few smiles and encouraging notes on my sandwich baggie and snack wrappers. He worked Monday through Friday and was often gone for work before I was even up for school, so this was a way for him to connect with me even though he was away. A one time thing turned into a battle of doodles and notes that lasted years through even high school. Before long I was sneaking out of bed to write (in permanent marker, mind you) on his lunch bags and containers. Momma was always furious, but I insisted on it anyway. After all, the number of days I ran to school to unpack my lunch, or reflected back on those notes during a tough day, were more often than not.

This was a single example of just one thing my dad had done to give extra during my childhood, and I was quite upset to hear how shocked he was to read, on my site, how much it had meant to me. How had something I had told countless people about over the years not found it's importance to my own father's ears?

So, with November upon us, a time for reflection and thanks, I committed myself to chronicle some of the father/daughter memories that meant so much to me, and ensure that the person who had made them all possible knew just how appreciative I was. In fact, Extra Gum is challenging everyone to do the same and Give Extra with a little note or gift that helps recognize all of the wonderful Extra in our lives. Something as simple as a pack of gum with a sticky note can really change a person's day and say thanks.

Since my father and I had such a bond over lunches (food in general, really) I thought it would be appropriate to make him sack lunches for work one week. Because he travels during the day, and his 'lunches' have to be on the go, I went with meal bars and a bag of chips; and handmade him some breakfast burritos to kick start his work day. My dad is always sending me texts saying "Guess What?....I love you!" and this was a chance to say it back in my own way.

Here are some of the reflections I noted in the finer details of my plan to give extra:

*When I was a little girl my father, 'the ice cream man' as I referred to him, would bring home all sorts of surprises for me from the restaurants he serviced. I was spoiled with entire collections of Happy Meal toys, and various chain collectibles, so I was sure to include a happy meal toy in one of his lunches!

*One of my favorite mementos he'd bring home were napkins from a popular ice cream chain. We'd sit and enjoy our hand scooped ice cream sundaes at home, and pretend we were eating 'the good stuff' with the fancy napkins that had the smiling ice cream face. So I made sure to stop by that chain and get some paper bags with the logo to put his lunches in.

*As a little girl, my father taught me to play checkers, delicious checkers- our Hershey's Kisses checkers board gave Momma a panic attack on more than one occasion as I attempted to shove all the 'Kings and Queens' into my mouth in victory. One of his lunches had a few Kisses for good measure.

*Cards have always been a 'thing' between my father and I. I have nearly every card my father ever gave me, back to about 6 years old. I even have the ones made on one of our first home computers. On the back of each homemade card he'd print 'Dadmark,' something I quickly copied on ever handmade card I've ever made since. Even my Valentine's heart cutouts, from there since, have said 'Jenmark.' Each lunch bag I made had a special card inside with a (wordy) note about memories and thanks for my father.

*One thing I remember distinctly about my dad, growing up, was how frequently he chewed gum. He chewed it during the work day, while traveling, and while doing invoices and inventory at home. So, on top of writing notes inside of wrapper seams, I also continued our doodle tradition with a pack of Extra gum, in each bag, and individual notes on the package for my father. I am certain every time he flips up the top of those packs of Extra gum, wherever he is, he will smile!

We all have people in our lives who have given extra in a time of need; but sometimes we forget to stop and thank the people who have always given extra, whether we needed it or not. My dad never did all the little things for thanks he did them because he hoped they would mean, if even a little, to me. Little did he know just how much they really did mean! How many lunches did your parents see you off with, growing up? Wouldn't it be a nice reminder of thanks to unexpectedly bring them lunch? What other ideas do you have to help give back a little extra to someone who impacts your life everyday? Follow the #ExtraGumMoments hashtag on social media, Extra Gum on Facebook, @ExtraGum on Twitter, and Extra Gum on Pinterest to see more stories like mine, and more creative ways to give extra this season!

What Daughter Says: Being a parent goes beyond having children. I'm thankful for all of the 'extra' things my father has always been there for and done.

 

 Extra Loaded Breakfast Burrito

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