My mother never wanted children. And, while we live in a very modern society, that statement is still a bit shocking to this day. It certainly wasn't something she advertised when she was 'on the market' and even her family had no idea as the doting newlyweds (my parents) negotiated children like it was a peace treaty.
Whenever I tell anyone that my mother, in my adult years, has casually referred to me existence as a "contractual obligation to her marriage" I find jaws drop and an uncomfortable silence wash over the atmosphere. But does the fact that my mother never aspired to be a mother make her a bad one? No. Her circumstances, or the origin of my life really has little to do with the kind of mom she was- just like so many other mothers, she made it work. And, at the end of the day, my happiness and health was really the only honest measure of her success as one anyone should have needed.
Such is modern motherhood. Mothers work full time careers while the husband stays home, other mothers are single and 'making it work' the best they know how, while some love staying at home playing 'Betty Homemaker.' Every mother is different, yet every mother faces the same universal challenges while aspiring to do something so simple and organic, love their children and provide them with better things.
Think about it, how many years has it been since you last were able to close the bathroom door for a solid section of time without having to 'trick' a child to distraction? Those with children long out of the home will also relate to the juxtaposition of the love/hate relationship between a mother and child through the awkward tween years. So dependent, yet so independent.
The truth is, if you have ever been told "I hate you, you're the worst mother ever" you were doing your job right.
We all have a perception of what the 'perfect' mother is- she makes cookies for every class party, reads her kids stories before bed every night, makes sure everyone is brushing their teeth, and never allows sugar after nightfall on a school night. But this is for the mom's who know that's not practical- that the real world does exist and will try your wits and resources no matter how cool, calm, and collected you are. That sometimes ice cream is breakfast, you lie to your daughter's teacher about completed homework, and 'crazy hair day' is the highlight of your month because you don't have to fight tears and tangles for a half an hour before school that day.
Better Things by Louis C.K. on FX networks, airing Thursdays this Fall. In the mean time, enter to win yourself some better things in the special promotional bundle pictured above. One lucky blog post comment will be chosen to receive a lush prize pack including; CHIPOLO Bluetooth Tracker, genuine leather BAGGU clutch, Ray Baan sunglasses, a silk hypoallergenic plush travel pillow, essential oils, mints, and more!
To enter to win the Better Things promotional prize bundle, valued at over $125, check out the Better Things trailer and leave a comment below telling me if you've watched the first episode of Better Things (if so, what you thought) OR what interests you most about Better Things on FX networks. Winner will be drawn at random from comment numbers on September 29, 2016.
What Daughter Says: For better or for worse, no mom is ever truly alone.