My mother never wanted children. And, while we live in a very modern society, that statement is still a bit shocking to this day. It certainly wasn't something she advertised when she was 'on the market' and even her family had no idea as the doting newlyweds (my parents) negotiated children like it was a peace treaty.
Whenever I tell anyone that my mother, in my adult years, has casually referred to me existence as a "contractual obligation to her marriage" I find jaws drop and an uncomfortable silence wash over the atmosphere. But does the fact that my mother never aspired to be a mother make her a bad one? No. Her circumstances, or the origin of my life really has little to do with the kind of mom she was- just like so many other mothers, she made it work. And, at the end of the day, my happiness and health was really the only honest measure of her success as one anyone should have needed.
Such is modern motherhood. Mothers work full time careers while the husband stays home, other mothers are single and 'making it work' the best they know how, while some love staying at home playing 'Betty Homemaker.' Every mother is different, yet every mother faces the same universal challenges while aspiring to do something so simple and organic, love their children and provide them with better things.
This brings me back to my into. There are so many things mothers have had to tackle and juggle throughout time, yet,even single, a mother is never alone.
Think about it, how many years has it been since you last were able to close the bathroom door for a solid section of time without having to 'trick' a child to distraction? Those with children long out of the home will also relate to the juxtaposition of the love/hate relationship between a mother and child through the awkward tween years. So dependent, yet so independent.
The truth is, if you have ever been told "I hate you, you're the worst mother ever" you were doing your job right.
With each character having a rich, well built, identity, it's obvious after just one episode the challenges will be many, and the solutions not always so obvious. After all, Sam is the kind of mother we don't see in modern television- even Gilmore Girls' Loralei didn't dare step as boldly in her parenting as this motherly figure. And sometimes the battles chosen to forego are equally shocking.
We all have a perception of what the 'perfect' mother is- she makes cookies for every class party, reads her kids stories before bed every night, makes sure everyone is brushing their teeth, and never allows sugar after nightfall on a school night. But this is for the mom's who know that's not practical- that the real world does exist and will try your wits and resources no matter how cool, calm, and collected you are. That sometimes ice cream is breakfast, you lie to your daughter's teacher about completed homework, and 'crazy hair day' is the highlight of your month because you don't have to fight tears and tangles for a half an hour before school that day.
In fact, there's a scene in the Better Things pilot that could have been ripped from my own childhood as the lead character, Sam, exasperatedly calls out for an employee amidst the aisles of an office supply store, mortifying her teenage daughter. That's precisely the behavior Momma would have, and did, do when she felt her parenting obligations were overwhelming her among the less than ideal circumstances of society. And, let's face it, parent or not, haven't you ever felt as though finding something you needed in a seemingly empty, employee-less, store was near impossible? Try adding a last minute school shopping list and a sarcastic teenager into the mix, as motherhood.
I can't say Better Things, on FX networks, will delight everyone. It is extremely raw, under produced, and plain un-apologetic. However, in a world where Parenthood is no longer on the air, this dark look at motherhood, and parenting, is a welcome addition to my fall line up. A guilty pleasure, if you will. The next episode actually airs tonight and I've already put a reminder in my phone to catch it on-demand.
Motherhood can be downright exhausting, yet, clearly, constantly fulfilling. It's okay to feel both, exhausted and fulfilled. After all, they say it's the hardest job you'll ever have to do. Make sure to take a time out after the last child has gone to bed, but before the first child decides to wake up and crawl into yours, and check out Better Things by Louis C.K. on FX networks, airing Thursdays this Fall. In the mean time, enter to win yourself some better things in the special promotional bundle pictured above. One lucky blog post comment will be chosen to receive a lush prize pack including; CHIPOLO Bluetooth Tracker, genuine leather BAGGU clutch, Ray Baan sunglasses, a silk hypoallergenic plush travel pillow, essential oils, mints, and more!
To enter to win the Better Things promotional prize bundle, valued at over $125, check out the Better Things trailer and leave a comment below telling me if you've watched the first episode of Better Things (if so, what you thought) OR what interests you most about Better Things on FX networks. Winner will be drawn at random from comment numbers on September 29, 2016.
What Daughter Says: For better or for worse, no mom is ever truly alone.
I think it's okay to say you don't want children or didn't want children, even if you end up with them. Thinking and saying this doesn't mean you ARE a bad mom to your kids or that you're a bad person if you don't want/don't have them. I am curious about this show! I haven't watched it yet, but hopefully I'll get to catch the pilot soon.
ReplyDelete-Lauren
lauren51990 AT aol DOT com
I like that it shows how chaotic being a single mom can be throughout the day and balancing work with kids is difficult. The sharp humor is fun to watch.
ReplyDeleteI have not seen this episode but I would like this show because it shows the real side of parenting.
ReplyDeletekellywcu8888ATgmailDOTcom
I haven't seen the show yet but I appreciate any show that has an honest portrayal of motherhood w a side of humor b/c that is how we survive motherehoid. Through humor and sarcasm. It's nice after a day w three teens to have a show w characters I can empathize with.
ReplyDeleteI watched it last night when it was on. I thought it was alright. She certainly didn't sugar-coat thing, did she? I will probably watch it a few more times before I decide if I make it a regular. It definitely wasn't Parenthood, though. lkish77123 at gmail dot com
ReplyDeleteI have not watched the first episode. I would like to see this show
ReplyDeleteelena150980 at yahoo dot com
I have not see the first episode, but it really looks like a great show. I saw the pillow clip and I can relate to wanting to scream into a pillow from all the hectic things going on right not. With back to school and after school activities when do I have any time!!!
ReplyDeletejewelwood55(at)gmail(dot)com
I have not watched yet, but after watching this trailer, I definitely will, it looks hysterical! I love how candid it is and talks about subjects that are interesting to women of my age!
ReplyDeleteI did not watch the first episode but from the clip I could tell that this is certainly a different way of parenting.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen the first episode. It will be something I can relate to-being a single mom of three myself.
ReplyDeleteI have not seen the first episode. But the trailers are funny. I can relate to the Smoke Detector episode.
ReplyDeletetwinkle at optonline dot net
I have not seen the first episode. I think my wife and I could enjoy this show will have to tell her about it. thankyou, ken pohl19@comcast.net
ReplyDeleteI haven't watched the first episode yet but I am planning to watch both episodes tomorrow. It is so funny, ny mom was telling me that this is a great show and to watch it just this afternoon.
ReplyDeleteI haven't watching any of Better Things yet, but I love FX shows and I think I would enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteI haven't watched I've just recently heard about it from twitter, I can relate eventho I don't have kids. But I did grow up babysitting a lot and when kids act up I really do try to ignore them until they stop
ReplyDeleteI haven't watched it before, but would like to. I've never watched an FX show before, so I'd like to check it out.
ReplyDeleteEmail: mia2009(at)comcast(dot)net
I have not watched this yet, but it does seem like a show I would watch. We all want to be the perfect Mom, but the truth is that nobody is perfect. I think the humor would make this a lot of fun to watch as well. Thank you for the chance.
ReplyDeleteYes ma'am! I have definitely watched this show and I love it! It is my life in a way. I'm a single parent of 3 beautiful children but, honestly everyday is a struggle. This show is the brute honesty of the struggle that we endure daily. It's a serious, heart warming, fun and sad show all in one. It's life and it's real!! I love it!! Thanks so much for this amazing chance.
ReplyDeleteHaven't watched it yet Certainly adult humor
ReplyDeleteI haven't had a chance to watch yet, but I definitely want to. That picture of her face-down on the bed...I have had those feelings before, so I feel like I can probably relate to this show!
ReplyDeleteI watched clips and the show looks pretty good! I like the humor in life situations
ReplyDeletemammoo84 at yahoo dot com
I have not seen the episode yet but I have seen the commercials and the previews. It looks really funny and so real. I think that is why I think I will enjoy it. It is something I can fell and understand.
ReplyDeleteI have not seen the episode yet but I have seen the commercials and the previews. It looks really funny and so real. I think that is why I think I will enjoy it. It is something I can fell and understand.
ReplyDeleteAs a single mom, this show definitely appeals to me! I haven't seen the first episode because... well, it's on my "To Watch" list but I already know that FX will put out a great show and the previews are HILARIOUS!!!!
ReplyDeletejaimelovesstuff at yahoo.com
No, but as a mother of a girl. I do really want to watch it!
ReplyDeleteclarkmurdock@yahoo.com
Melanie Montgomery
Yes, loved it. Better Things keeps it real and funny
ReplyDeleteI watched the first episode. I don't know yet if I will continue watching it. I like that it shows the difficulties of being a single working parent but I think the kids need some discipline.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen it yet, but it does look like a good show. I just know that the show is about a single mom juggling with raising kids and working. bbbneys31 at gmail dot com
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen it yet, but it does look like a good show. I just know that the show is about a single mom juggling with raising kids and working. bbbneys31 at gmail dot com
ReplyDeleteI have not watched the first episode, but I like how the show is relatable to real life parenthood.
ReplyDelete