Momma Told Me: The Freedom To Be Spontaneous And Other Relationship Secrets

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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Freedom To Be Spontaneous And Other Relationship Secrets

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #TheMoodStrikes #CollectiveBias
Be ready when #TheMoodStrikes with these 5 Simple Tips For A Healthy Relationship. #ad
Momma Told Me: Relationships are work.

If you've been with Momma Told Me since the beginning (yes, way back in the dark days of over saturated pixelated photos) you may recall this blog's URL was originally "Momma Said Days Like These" yadda yadda Blogger dot com. And back in those days, on my first marriage, it very clearly resonated with where I was in my life. Relationships take work ya'll. In between the unexpected bills, the ups and downs of physical health, natural disasters, an just plain rude ex girlfriends (too personal?) you have to find time to put in the hours. But there's good news, its the kinda job you should always love- yes, fun at work. Relationships, whether they're professional, family, or friends all require nurturing and attention. And romantic relationships, which are ultimately hoped to be life long are no exceptions to the rule. So I've compiled a few of my Top 5 Relationship Secrets for a healthy relationship- no need to take notes, I've even added Pin-Photos!
Momma Told Me: The Freedom To Be Spontaneous And Other Relationship Secrets with The Elephant In The Room Communication Tool. Remove the elephant from the box when you or your partner have something to talk about and practice good communication, listening and taking turns talking with the elephant in hand! #TheMoodStrikes #ad
Communication- It goes without saying (get it?) that communicating with your significant other is the most important task at hand on any given day. Whether this is through a simple gestures, such as making them a cup of coffee before work, or relaying the schedule for the day ahead in physical conversation. Communicating your shared needs, goals and individual feelings are key to great communication. But what if you can't always tackle those more touchy subjects? Have you ever had one of those days where both of you go to bed, one wondering why the other hasn't said a word all evening, the other silently brooding on the far edge of your bed?

That's precisely where The Elephant In The Room comes in. It's not my original idea, but it's a concept that is easily adapted to fit many relationships and has truly worked wonders in mine. The process is simple. 1. Buy a stuffed elephant and an acrylic case (you may even have one laying around from when collecting Beanie Babies was cool in the 90s.) 2. Place the elephant, in the case, in a prominent location in your home. 3. When one of you has something they're generally steamed/confused/worried about, remove the elephant from the case. This will give your partner a clear idea that something is bothering you. 4. When your partner is ready to focus on and discuss the problem with you they should take the elephant and approach you to open a safe grounds for communication. Thus 'the elephant in the room' has now been addressed.
Spend some time pampering yourself every week to help ensure you're ready when #TheMoodStrikes. #ad
Keeping Up Appearances- Studies indicate one of the primary reasons for disconnect in a romantic relationship is one or more of the party's perceived lack of attraction. There's always that one woman at the grocery store looking as though she just stepped off a Cosmo magazine with her two perfectly quiet kids dressed head to toe in L.L. Bean; how can you compare? It's no secret you look your sexiest when you feel your sexiest, but it is a secret how on Earth 'those women' manage to keep up with all the coloring, plucking, and shaving while running a household full time with a job.

If you're like me, and can't afford  a house full of help, and shiatsu massages twice a week, your secret is just this simple; do something. Anything, really, just pick one or two things a week to do for yourself. Can't afford an hour bath by candlelight? Take a 20 minute soak with some aromatherapy oils. Using the excuse "It's Winter" to explain away those scratchy legs? Buy yourself a brand new, nice, razor and indulge in 10 minutes of relaxing shave time. That short time spent on you each week can do wonders for your confidence and mood in your relationship!
Keep your relationship healthy and active- plan low stress date nights that take the pressure off and help you be ready when #TheMoodStrikes. #ad
Now that you've worked on communication and spent some time taking care of yourself, it's time to find time to connect with your partner. Sure the two of you see each other every evening, and there's the week night sitcoms you chuckle together over after the kids have gone to bed- but when was the last time you spent some time reconnecting outside the home? Making time, or the budget, for a date doesn't have to be overwhelming. Staying active and engaged is crucial to a healthy relationship.

Take as much stress out of 'date night' as possible by going low key. Make sure both parties understand that connecting, one-on-one, for any period of time, doing anything, is preferred over any extravagant meals or fancy clothes. For example, resolve to eat fast food (we like to go with kids meals and have a little fun, but Subway or other fast serve value options work just as well,) and wear 'civilian' clothes while the two of you go to a second run movie or visit the local boardwalk/arcade. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't enjoy acting like one now and then!
Keep your relationship healthy and active wit this free Daily Love Reminder printable. Put a little something sweet and one of these notes in each of the tabs on a daily pill case and gie ti to your partner so they hae a reminder of your love every day of the week! Be ready when #TheMoodStrikes with more of our relationship tips! #ad
Never Stop Reminding Them How You Feel- This is another one of those things we get 'lazy' on as our relationship progresses. Whether you're in the 6 months slump, or heading towards 10 years of wedded bliss; it's easy to lose track of all that bliss and the singing birds when the real world works its way into your relationship. Always be sure to stop and take the time to remind your partner how much you care, and how much you appreciate them. Just a few moments a day, even repeating something they may already know, let them know that you not only appreciate them and love them, but that you think about it every day. Try filling a simple pill case with a little something sweet and a daily note for them to enjoy every morning, or at the end of a long day. I've included an exclusive Daily Love Reminder printable (my first one ever!) to help you out. Check it out at the bottom of this post!
Be ready when #TheMoodStrikes with K-Y Liquibeads from Walmart, Walgreens, or Target. These easy to use personal lubricant beads provide natural freedom to be spontaneous for up to 24 hours! #ad
Be ready for anything- even when your body isn't as willing as your heart. It's not something women discuss often; certainly not women my age. However, I certainly know that life can get in the way of an active and healthy relationship when it comes to connecting with your partner one-on-one. I, personally, take a myriad of medications that seem to jumble my physical cues with my emotional ones, and I am seldom prepared to join the race when the starting gun fires. It's a personal issue that causes me quite a bit of frustration and missed connections within my relationship.

Thankfully, I discovered K-Y® Liquibeads for couples; an advanced moisturizer that acts and feels as organic as my own. They are easy to use and only require 30 minutes advanced placement (via a comfortable applicator similar to a tampon) and can provide intimate moisture for over a day, so your body is always as willing as you when the timing is right. Best of all this revolutionary aid for couples is sold at a number of common retailers, such as Walgreens, Target, and Walmart, near the contraceptives or behind the pharmacy counter, and you can print a special $1 off coupon to try it for yourself.

Let's face it, relationships will always be a lot of work, but the putting the time in doesn't have to feel like a chore with these simple tips for a healthier and more spontaneous relationship!

What Daughter Says: Reclaim your relationship and make it the best job you've ever had!
Curious to learn more about how to be ready when #TheMoodStrikes with K-Y® Liquibeads? Check out our fun video below!
A video posted by Jenna Marie's (@mommatoldme) on

Click here for the free Daily Love Reminder PDF Printable

36 comments:

  1. I love your printables - so fun! I feel like ever since our daughter was born, my husband and I haven't been as close. We are always so exhausted and busy. Passing a sweet note to each other in the morning, would be such a nice way to connect.

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  2. I love the elephant in the room idea. We will have to try that one, I think it could be really helpful for us…as long as my little ones don't steal it :)

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  3. Great tips, I think you just have to learn to communicate and be will to reciprocate.

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  4. These are cute ideas. I'll have to remember them the next time I need them!

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  5. That is so cute and I have to agree with every point - we sorta kinda losing touch over the years. have to keep it on the forefront

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  6. This is one of the best relationship posts I have seen in a long time! VERY good job. I am going to bookmark and read again later when I have more time to focus!

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  7. Cute! Great tips! I would also add "Compromise", because single people get so set in their ways that to work together, you really have to...work together! Compromise is great if both people are doing it equally.

    BTW, your bright ombre nails are killer! Love them!

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  8. Relationships are not all sunshine and roses as you have so eloquently stated. They take work from both parties to survive and thrive. I love your printables...so cute.

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  9. LOL, what an adorable post. We definitely have our ups and downs. Gotta get through the bad to enjoy the good!

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  10. I love that printable! Yes, relationships are a ton of work.

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  11. Your post motivates me to go out and do something special for Walt. And yeah..you have to remember THAT too...(they stuff the KY goes with).

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  12. Relationships are SUCH work! My mom has been married a grande total of 8 times, and my dad a grande total of 5 times (twice to the same woman). I'm on my second marriage, and I do NOT want to ever get divorced again. I really hate my husband some days, but most days I can't imagine life without him. Keeping those physical AND emotional lines of communication open and healthy is so vital to a working relationship. I feel fortunate that my parents suck so hard at relationships because it has helped me see what I could do differently. These are some great tips and your printables are a lot of fun! #client

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  13. It is definitely a lot of work to make a relationship work, but it's so worth it. And yes to keeping up appearances.

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  14. These are great tips. It's so important to keep the relationship as exciting as you can.

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  15. Relationships aren't work. They're A LOT of work. That's why it's so important to make one-on-one time for each other.

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    1. I was trying to explain this to a younger girl in the bloom of her first real relationship as an adult. She is still of the opinion that "if it's meant to be, it won't be work". There is a lot to making a relationship last past the initial burst of passion.

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  16. Making time for your significant other is so important. It's far too easy to grow apart when dealing with work and everything else that can get in the way of your relationship.

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  17. Great tips, keeping the love alive is so important! Also, I adore your photos, they crack me up everytime! ;)

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  18. Love that elephant in the room. Great tips to keeping the relationship exciting!

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  19. Oh what great ideas. Hubby and I love doing little things for each other like leaving notes and such. It helps keep our relationship fresh.

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  20. This is great. It is true that quality time together, even just sitting quietly at home, is so important.

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  21. i agree relationships are a lot of work but they are definitely worth it! communication is most important

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  22. Love your stress free date night you did!!! Relationships are a lot of work but they are worth it!

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  23. I am so in love with that Daily love reminder! What a brilliant idea! And it would definitely make a huge difference in a lot of relationships if we all took that time each day to remind ourselves and our other how much they are loved.

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  24. I LOVE your post!!! Excellent and simple advice! I love the candy in the pill box idea... mostly because I can't resist candy... ever. seriously. :-) Thanks for the ideas!

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  25. I love that you make time for playing in your relationship. After 16 years, I find it very hard to fit in time for being alone.

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  26. This is a good idea. Sometimes we hold things in too long. It doesn't help anyone.

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  27. Oh my gosh your printables are so much fun! I totally love the idea of a no frills date night! That looks like you guys had lots of fun!

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  28. These are great tips for staying connected to your partner. I like the pill container idea with candies and little notes.

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  29. Oh wow, this is the best post!! I've read several for this brand lately, and I LOVE this one. Your pictures are adorable, and I love your suggestions. The elephant in the room wouldn't work here because we have a toddler, but it's a clever idea. :)

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  30. These are such great ideas and I absolutely love the photos! With my baby going off to college next year it will be interesting to see how everything goes as empty nesters.

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  31. Date nights are always a great idea! These are great tips for spicing up any relationship.

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  32. I'm totally one of those frumpy moms, lol. 5 kids will do that to you. Great reminders, though!

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  33. Very cool date night suggestions! I love your animated pictures too!

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  34. I really love the way you gracefully tackled this topic!! One of the best posts I've seen :) It's always a good reminder to keep the spark alive in your relationship!

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  35. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and our relationship is amazing. The beginning years were beyond rough but we've learned that we have to communicate, pray, be open and honest, and have fun. The tips you gave are good, especially the "elephant in the room" one.

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